I have lived with it. I have lived without it. I realized I was talking with stupid people all the time. And there were people who would suck you up emotionally. And there were people I just shouldn't be talking with because it didn't feel right.
And then through the apathy of some interesting 'others', I realized it wasn't a way to deal with my loneliness, so I stopped chatting altogether. I have always had someone or the other in my life, not strictly girlfriends or lovers, but you know, like someone to talk at night, someone to tell my chores, someone to hear stories from - but then i decided that i needed to get out of it and it was alright. I felt that if no one wants to know if i am alive or dead, or the ones I wanted to get validation from didn't care, why do I bother to try my best to be an angel to them?
It was hard to come to terms with initially, the sudden pangs of solitude, this sudden feeling of being all alone in a big bad world. A sense of giving up. I had always been used to a lot of attention you know, so it was difficult.
But I know now, loneliness can't bring me down anymore. I enjoy my company and there's nothing more sweeter than
that.
And then through the apathy of some interesting 'others', I realized it wasn't a way to deal with my loneliness, so I stopped chatting altogether. I have always had someone or the other in my life, not strictly girlfriends or lovers, but you know, like someone to talk at night, someone to tell my chores, someone to hear stories from - but then i decided that i needed to get out of it and it was alright. I felt that if no one wants to know if i am alive or dead, or the ones I wanted to get validation from didn't care, why do I bother to try my best to be an angel to them?
It was hard to come to terms with initially, the sudden pangs of solitude, this sudden feeling of being all alone in a big bad world. A sense of giving up. I had always been used to a lot of attention you know, so it was difficult.
But I know now, loneliness can't bring me down anymore. I enjoy my company and there's nothing more sweeter than
that.
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